Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love, Sex, and Ponies!

Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!

[Takei] Ohhhhh Myyyy!!! [/Takei]

As a special treat today we shall be looking at love and reproduction in the history of the My Little Pony franchise.


In the first generation of my little pony there was originally just mares... which posed a problem especially when Hasbro was making a porcelain set and wanted to make a wedding themed collectable entitled 'A Wedding Prance'. So they did the most logical thing - have two mares get married:

Gay marriage: Legal in Ponyland since 1985!

Yep, that's two mares: Glory and Moondancer (Sorry Spike, she was taken). And for extra kick now that you have seen that take a look at Glory's American backcard story:

"Glory was looking for a special friend, a friend who believes in magic. One day she came upon a grand castle and saw a beautiful young girl sitting by the pond. Glory made an unusual sound. The girl turned to look at Glory, then ran toward her, arms outstretched in greeting. "I dream about you every night. Are you really here? Oh, please, please be here!" she exclaimed. Stars shot across the sky as Glory nestled her head in the young girl's shoulder. Glory knew that she had found her special friend - her friend who truly believes in magic!"

Yes, "Special Friend" indeed.

*Cough* Moving right along from that semi-spurious claim we now have to ask how this community of Mares reproduced? Well the answer is simple: Cloning!

 Not disturbing at all...

If you ever wondered why the Baby Ponies in G1 cartoons looked for the most part exactly like their 'Mothers' the official MLP comic covered the reason in a story entitled 'The Enchanted Mirror' in the first issue. Majesty had an Enchanted Mirror and used that to clone the other ponies giving them children (and yes this bit of MLP Lore seems to have been referenced in G4's 'Too Many Pinkie Pies').

Strangely enough there was a Pegasus named 'Heart Throb' who was always looking for love. In the serial 'Through the Door' she and Paradise start singing a song about how one day her prince will come. And in her fantasy Heart Throb envisions a Human Prince. The Prince then comes out of the Land of Legends and begins declaring his love for Heart Throb before also hitting on every other pony (and strangely utterly ignoring human women and girls like Megan and Scheherazade).

Legal in Twenty-Three US States.

Eventually, Stallions and Colts did come to exist in the MLP universe. Probably because MLP wanted to avoid the whole bestiality thing. The first male pony came into being in 1986 and like a number of ponies and types of ponies he comes into existence became the god-like Majesty was apparently bored.

I'm bored! I think I'll make a stallion today for the lols.

Lucky the Stallion - yes that's his name. The first male pony, who us utterly surrounded by mares was dubbed Lucky. But he was the first of many males. Probably the most infamous was the appearence of the Big Brother Ponies in the 1st My Little Pony Cartoon. Here is their entrance in the 1st cartoon's 'Somnambula' serial:

 4-Speed: Just think Salty, In just a few moments, we'll see Paradise Estate again! After all this time!
 Salty: Ha-ha! Aye, matey! We'll hoist our jib and lay HA-HARD into port! 
4-Speed: Uhhh... Right.

Yeah... That happened. You just heard a male pony talking about how he was going to hoist his jib and lay HA-HARD into PORT upon coming back to all the mares at Paradise Estate. How that little bit of blatant innuendo got past the censors utterly eludes me. It also utterly shocked 4-Speed too. Also in this episode we see the first pony romance - Slugger's crush on Buttons. As shown above, the absence of males ponies until this point was explained by the weird explanation that they had existed - but every male in existence had decided to go compete in a race around the world for completely inexplicable reasons.

As G1 progressed families started to appear along with babies and fillies/colt who were not clones suggesting normal reproduction was going on.

Look! It's families and children who aren't disturbing clones!

Near the end of G1 we got the My Little Pony Tales series. This was a series aimed at older girls and focused on a group of school ages fillies in a Slice of Life show. As such romance, boyfriends, crushes, and dating played a major part in the series. For the most part it's what you would expect - and then we get to Bonbon. In 'The Masquerade' Bonbon sings a song about how she would like to be a model and appear in magazines. Then we see said magazines:

Uhhh... Bonbon? That's clearly a gentlecolt's magazine...

And we see two mares embracing in a passionate kiss. Yeah. That happened. G1 came to an end that year.


G2 had very little media or background to speak of except a computer game entitled My Little Pony: Friendship Gardens in the Art bit it offered some interesting pony images:

Dat Plot.


G3 didn't really have anything except for Razaroo's rather disturbing photo album in 'A Charming Birthday':

Uhhh Razaroo... How did you get in my house and why are you taking photos of my flank?


Love is in the air...

G4 actually has the most amount of content but I'll keep it brief since most of the readers here will already be fans of and know the G4 show rather well. Families and love are common place in G4.

Important moments are Rarity's crush on Prince Blueblood and the crushing of her fantasies when she finally meant him and he turned out to be a complete jerk.

Married couples such as the Cakes and the birth of a set of twins during the episode 'Baby Cakes' (Pumpkin and Pound Cake with Mrs. Cake being presumably pregnant with them in a few previous episodes).

The 'Hearts and Hooves Day' episode featuring the aforementioned Valentine's Day like holiday with various pony couples shown to be in love and a the Cutie Mart Crusades trying to hook up Big Macintosh and Ms. Cheerilee.

In 'A Canterlot Wedding' we see the marriage of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance who form a strong loving bond as they eventually become the rulers of the Crystal Empire.

Love and relationships are so common place in G4 that they seem to occur in the background:

Background Continuity Apparently.

Whee, all in all love and sex in MLP is a weird, weird, thing and I hope this little excursion was worth the price of my sanity in putting all together in a semi-coherent package.

"Three Hours of Pure Pony Pleasure!"

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